I think the last couple of days, both Laura and I have been feeling like we’re living the lives of infants. Mostly what it feels like we’ve done is sleep and eat. Both of us are so tired for different reasons. I sometimes sit in the same room with Laura and then realize I’m just staring into space without even thinking about anything.
Nighttime seems to be a difficult time for us to sleep. Some of the medication keeps Laura up at night. Sometimes we take turns with our minds racing and not being able to quiet them. I never thought I would be in a time where it was difficult to sleep but here we are. I don’t stay up worrying about anything but I just find it hard to sleep sometimes. Maybe it’s psychosomatic, I don’t know.
I know sometimes Laura struggles with not being able to do much because she is so tired. She wants to be able to sit up and have conversations and write thank you notes just to stay connected relationally with friends but it’s difficult to even have a simple chat sometimes.
As I sit here typing this, I’m reminded of Matthew 18:3-4 when Jesus said, “I assure you, unless you turn from your sins and become as little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”
We may feel like little babes in some ways now but apparently, this is a good place to be. So we’re trying to just ‘be’ and not put expectations that we need to be anything but what we are now as ourselves. I know God is meeting us and helping us through all of the transitions and changes in our lives and it probably will go better if we can just relax and not live by any unrealistic expectations or false thinking. Your prayers for us along these lines would be appreciated as well.
Thank you also to everyone who has provided meals so far. We are well-taken care of and are enjoying the generosity of everyone. If we haven’t said it enough, we’ll say it again how much we love and appreciate all of you.
Brad (for all)
